Th Reading Lair

Archive for July, 2010

  • A Recipe for Coconut Lemon Bars

    Tuesday, July 27th, 2010

    Well, if you read Friday’s post, you know it was all about man therapy. So for the sake of fairness (and sanity after a week like mine), I thought we’d go with a bit of lady therapy today. Namely in the form of a movie and lemon deliciousness.

    If you’ve not seen THIS (click to view) version of Wuthering Heights…do so. Run to your local library and wack your way through all the old ladies in line ahead of you in order to lay claim to it. It’s the best rendition of the book I’ve yet to see. When my friend (thanks, Lacey) recommended it to me, she said, “Pay particular attention to the accents and the scenery. They’re actually authentic.” And to that we say, “Yay! We likes authentic, we does!” I also appreciated how well it tracked with the tragic story, capturing the layered tensions and societal complexities. And although the depth of emotional conflict and two *blush* scenes meant that I couldn’t watch it with my kiddos, I’m proud to say that it passed the husband test (that’s right–he stayed awake for the whole thing despite the massive lack of explosions and save-the-world-once-again-from-the-evil computer / genius / emotionally-challenged octopus / terrorist / misunderstood alien / government / karaoke singer trying to ruin everything plot line). So…go at it, my precious friendlies. Enjoy.

    And for our lemon goodness? You may dip into that once you’ve first answered me this: How was your weekend? Good? Lousy? Silly? Um, I slept in a tree house, by the way…

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    My recipe for Coconut Lemon Bars

    1. 2 ¼ cups flour
    2. ¾ cup sugar
    3. ¾ tsp salt
    4. ½ cup coconut
    5. 2 sticks unsalted butter (room temp)

    Combine the dry ingredients; then cut in butter until pea-sized. Stir in the coconut. Press into a 13×9 pan and bake on 350 for 8-10 minutes until lightly browned.

    1. 4 eggs
    2. 2 cups sugar
    3. 1 tsp baking powder
    4. 1 Tab flour
    5. 1 ½ Tab Orange Juice concentrate
    6. 2 Tab lemon juice
    7. 1 tsp lemon extract
    8. 1 tsp vanilla

    Beat the eggs and sugar until foamy; then gradually add the rest of the ingredients and blend until fluffy. Pour over the hot crust and bake on 350 for 15-20 minutes or until the top is crisp and barely browning. Cool in pan. While still hot, sift a fine layer of powdered sugar over top. Cool completely (or refrigerate) before cutting into squares.

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    Posted in Literary Classics, Reading Recipes | 10 Comments »

  • Tarzan: A Man Therapy Book

    Friday, July 23rd, 2010

    Every once in a while I come across some article or self-help book which touts the ideal of men heading back to their untamed roots in order to find themselves. The opinion being that if some of society’s overly-nurtured, depressed guys can get in touch with their masculine native side and do manly things which will spark their manly spirits—they will become better, happier men.

    I’ve not actually read any of these books…because…well…I’m not a man, nor am I seeking to wild-ize the one I’ve got. He pees and burps in the wild of our home just fine without any extra need for undomesticated encouragement, thank you very much.

    But…for those of you seeking self-help in the wildization department, I’ve got a book for you. “The Beasts of Tarzan.”

    The Beasts of Tarzan

    It seriously might be the perfect recipe for man-emotional-therapy. The book opens with Lord Graystoke bored and unhappy with his wealthy, London, socialite existence until his wife and son get kidnapped and he’s presented with the ultimate guy challenge: To save the ones you love. To do so, though, he must revert back to the ape-man he once was and return to the jungles whence he originally came. The adventure that follows for Tarzan mainly involves a lot of running around naked, killing his own dinner, befriending the local wildlife, and breaking the necks of bad guys. Disturbing? Yes. (As would be the generalized racism if I didn’t find it such an interesting study on the subject.) And, yet, the female character (Tarzan’s wife, Jane) proves one gutsy, rear-kicking broad which, based on that fact alone, meant I was able to finish the book. Well…that and I needed to see whether Tarzan finds decent clothing or rescues his son before the end. Not necessarily in that order.

    Anyhow, there you have it–my recommendation for those days when you just feel your testosterone waning and the call of the wild in your spirit. But for today…how about you? Give us a manly book recommend….

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    What’s the mood noise of the moment?  Pure awesomeness.

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    Posted in Book Reviews, Genre Savvy | 10 Comments »

  • The Final Word on Zombies

    Thursday, July 15th, 2010

    So…apparently there are books for people like you. Books that actually TEACH you how to survive a zombie apocalypse. I just came across The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks (son of Mel Brooks) which–tellingly–has recently sold its millionth copy.

    The cover to The Zombie Survival Guide

    I’ve not read it yet, but apparently included are necessary survival things to know such as (1) a bike is your best friend (no gas required, and hopefully you can ride faster than they can stumble) and (2) an oil rig is THE sweetest hideout on the face of the earth. Who knew? Oh yeah–and guess what? In a recent Shelf Life interview, Max answered that question of who would win in a vamp and zombie battle. His theory? Zombies. Because Zombies “do not need [human] flesh to sustain them. Vampires need blood to sustain them. So therefore, zombies would never have to confront vampires in a stand-up battle. All they have to do is infect the human populace, and the blood supply would dry up and vampires would die.”

    Obviously the man knows his undead, which is why this book might be worthwhile for those of you who failed the Facebook Zombie Survival Test. You know, the one that I did NOT fail.

    Also, I thought Max’s interview comment on the turning point in his career as a sort of zombie survivalist coach was truly inspiring: “I knew I had turned a corner when I did my first zombie-protection lecture [at Colorado College]…for 45 sweaty minutes and [then] opened the floor up to questions, thinking…they’d ask me questions like, ‘Is Will Ferrell really that funny?’ or ‘Is Tina Fey nice?’” (Um…did I mention Max used to write for Saturday Night Live?) “But the questions were all, ‘If I cut off my arm, can I stop an infection?’ ‘What rifle do you recommend at what range?’ ‘Should I wear body armor?’ They were all actual zombie questions, and I thought maybe I was on to something.”

    Oh you were, Max. You were.

    And seeing as I’m also somewhat of an expert on the subject of zombie survival (**modestly blushes at my facebook survival score**), I’d be glad to take your own questions on surviving a zombie apocalypse. Ask away, my reading survivalists. Ask away.

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    Mood noise of the moment?  Well…what did you expect?

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    Posted in Author Tidbits, Book Reviews, Undead Leeches | 10 Comments »

  • A Recipe for Sal’s Tacos (and surviving zombies)

    Monday, July 12th, 2010

    Continuing on with our conversation from Thursday’s post (and my weekend reading of “The Passage”), I suspect some of you instinctively know you are just not cut from the same high-caliber zombie survival cloth that I am. However, for those of you who need that confirmed, you too can take the Facebook test. There are many available, but I believe the one I took was something like, “How will you face the zombie apocalypse?” So…go at it. But don’t blame me if your survival status flashes as only slightly above the Twilight cast or the unnamed extra from (insert annoying tv show of your choice).

    And for those of you who don’t need a test to tell you what you already intuit to be true…I’ve found a training video. Consider it my attempt to give you at least every advantage possible once you’ve run out of the bribes mentioned in Thursday’s post.

    And remember: Instincts can’t be bought, but awareness can be taught.

     

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    Now…who’s hungry? Because today is recipe day. And meat is on the menu. Oh, but before you read through, do you have any extra survival suggestions or tidbits you’d like to share with us? You know…for our safety.

     

    A recipe for Sal’s Tacos

    1. 1 pork roast (boneless)
    2. Garlic salt, pepper, and cumin
    3. Corn tortillas (heated)
    4. Black beans
    5. Jack cheese
    6. Tomato (diced)
    7. Avocado (chopped)
    8. Cilantro (chopped)
    9. Lime wedges (1 wedge per taco)

    This recipe is a staple on my heavy work days. I can put the meat in a crockpot in the morning and come home later to an incredible smelling house and an easy dinner. You’ll want to rub down the pork roast with garlic salt, pepper, and ½ tsp cumin. Then place in a crockpot or deep pan (cast iron works awesome for the oven, but you can even use a cake pan) with water so that the bottom 1/3 of the roast is immersed. Cover with a lid (or foil) and slow cook at 350 for 3 to 6 hours (depends on the size and whether you’re crockpotting it or using the oven). You’ll know it’s done when you can stick a fork in it and the pork just falls apart. Using a fork, shred the meat. Serve by piling the meat on warmed corn tortillas with beans, cheese, tomato, avocado, and cilantro. Squeeze a lime wedge over and enjoy.

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    Posted in Reading Recipes, Undead Leeches | 10 Comments »

  • Brains vs. Blood

    Thursday, July 8th, 2010

    As you know, myself and Stephen King are reading Justin Cronin’s apocalyptic novel “The Passage” right now, and…well…I might’ve sat up one or two recent nights pondering the existence of zombie-like vampires (virals) and guessing at who they would take down first in an impending attack. I think it’s safe to assume that for multiple obvious reasons it’s going to be the complete cast of Twilight that gets eaten right off the bat. Although I’m open to debate.

    It’s good to know though that I’LL not be the first on the menu because, not to brag or anything, but according to the Zombie Survival Test (thank you, Facebook) I’m actually THE person MOST likely to survive a zombie apocalypse. Apparently I’ll be holed up on my commune, loaded down with shot-guns, shovels, and fire, and a fantastic singing voice which will keep the undead halted at a clear 1-mile radius. Take that, Shawn of the Dead.

    And because I’m a nice person I might consider inviting some of you to my compound. I’ll take chocolate and vodka as payment.

    Anyhoo…this whole late night heavy contemplation thing has been good for me. It’s really got me questioning the deeper issues of life, you know. Such as…what if there was a war between vampires and zombies and they had to fight each other outside of my 1-mile radius compound? Despite what the books and movies say…how would that battle REALLY end?

    Who would win–the vamps or zombies?

    Opinions please.

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    What’s the mood noise of the moment?  Heheheheheh… Bush vs. Zombies

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    Posted in Games, Genre Savvy, Undead Leeches | 12 Comments »

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