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Archive for the ‘Undead Leeches’ Category

  • Ten Book Characters Who Did NOT Get Enough Valentines as Children (plus a recipe)

    Monday, February 14th, 2011

    Remember in 1st grade when we’d all show up to school on Valentine’s Day with our backpacks full of cheap paper hearts (that our mothers made us take for the ENTIRE class because we wouldn’t want to leave anyone out) and how we’d get all sweaty and nervous wondering if anyone’s mothers besides our two bosom buddies’ would make sure we got paper hearts in return?

    And then remember how afraid we were that the one person in class whom we actually had a crush on wouldn’t even remember our name well enough to correctly spell it on our card, or worse yet, it would simply say “Dear Friend” (even though everyone in class could remember the golden-haired “Donna” and every sigh she’d ever uttered through her perfectly straight teeth)?

    And then there was that one person who traumatized us more than any other by chasing us on the playground with a bag full of cooties and a finger full of boogers forcing us to spend the entire afternoon mortified that they might actually think our Valentine paper heart we’d given them was an indication of marriage intentions rather than the fact that our mother just made us do it.

    And then there was that one kid whom everyone seemed to forget existed (and thus our moms forgot to make Valentines for them) and we’d feel so awkwardly sorry for them (and embarrassed for ourselves) that we’d cut out a construction paper heart real quick during recess and hope they didn’t notice it wasn’t quite the same color as the rest…

    Yeah. Those were good times.

    And to truly honor those good times, I thought I’d make a list of book characters who were in that last group of kids. They obviously got left out of the paper heart sharing as grade school children and therefore grew up feeling lonely and unloved with their hair full of boogers and sad little hearts of flesh that eventually got cruel or weird and turned into stone. These poor souls are the ones who deserve our love. And to these, I bequeath my paper hearts today. Happy Valentine’s Day. ;-)

    1. Gollum
    2. Heathcliff
    3. The Queen of Hearts
    4. Katerina Ivanova (Crime & Punishment)
    5. Dracula
    6. Hannibal Lecter
    7. Bella
    8. Cugel the Clever (The Eyes of the Overworld)
    9. Annie Wilkes (Misery)
    10. Captain Hook

    Who have I missed? Anyone? Anyone?

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    A Recipe for Valentine’s English Trifle

    1. 1 purchased pound cake or a boxed yellow cake (baked & cooled)
    2. 1 lg. box Strawberry Jello mix
    3. 1 lg. container of Cool-Whip
    4. 4-6 bananas (sliced)
    5. 1 package fresh strawberries
    6. 1 package fresh raspberries
    7. 1/2 cup frozen blueberries

    Make the Jello according to package directions and allow to cool (but not harden). Cut the cake in slices and use ½ of them to cover the bottom of a large glass bowl. Place ½ of the sliced bananas and ½ of the berries over the cake. Pour ½ of the Jello over this and then spread ½ of the carton of Cool-Whip over. Repeat these layers again, beginning with the cake slices. After the final layer of Cool-Whip, sprinkle a few berries on top for prettiness. Chill at least 2 hours (to allow the Jello to thicken).

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     What’s the Mood Noise of the Moment?  What the World Needs Now

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    Posted in Games, Literary Classics, Reading Recipes, Undead Leeches | 19 Comments »

  • Best Recipe for Chewy Gingerbread Cookies

    Friday, December 3rd, 2010

    I awoke this morning with Twilight’s Bella Swan’s words in my head (and perhaps a slightly demented desire to mimic her): “About three things I was absolutely positive….”

    And I thought, hmm…about which three things am I absolutely positive? I made a list and automatically came up with all the normal important things that should come to mind…but then my list got bigger, and more random, and by the end became downright entertaining to myself. And then it occurred to me that I could be nice and share my list with you. Except, that it’s really big, and random, and…yeah. So, in true Bella form, I chose three to share with the rest of the world. Perhaps not as romantic as hers. Nor as glittery vampirish. But definitely revealing of my inner mental workings, which I’ve never claimed were normal…

    Ahem.  About three (random) things I feel absolutely positive….

    First, Eminem is a poet.

    Second, there is a part of me—and it’s ingrained deeply, so don’t tell me different—which believes my parents are never-nudes.

    And third, I unconditionally and irrevocably detest every version of gingerbread cookie other than my mother’s chewy gingerbread bars. It’s true.

    On that last one, I will be nice and prove it to you (the first two, I’d rather not). That’s right; I can be generous at times, especially with Christmas around the corner… So, short of making them and having you over, here’s my next best offer: The Recipe (queue hallowed light and Christmas music). BUT I think you should be nice in return and list for us YOUR three, Bella-type, not-so-normal things about which you are absolutely positive.

    Okay, ready? Go.

    chewy gingerbread cookies

    Best recipe for soft and chewy Gingerbread

    • ¾ cup butter
    • 1 egg
    • ¼ cup molasses
    • 1 & ½ tsp baking soda
    • ½ tsp cinnamon
    • ½ tsp cloves
    • 1 cup sugar
    • ½ tsp salt
    • ½ tsp ginger
    • 2 & ½ cups flour

    Glaze:

    • ¾ cup powdered sugar
    • 1 Tbsp. milk
    • 1 Tbsp. butter
    • ½ tsp. vanilla

     Cream the butter until fluffy; then add the egg and the molasses and blend well. Mix the dry ingredients in. On a buttered cookie sheet, press dough into flat, wide bars and sprinkle lightly with sugar. Bake at 350 for 10 min. While still warm, slice the cookies into thin bars. And once they’ve completely cooled, drizzle glaze over them. Eat with coffee or milk or cocoa. (Side note: the gingerbread is even better the second day since the flavors will have matured.)

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     What’s the mood noise of the moment?  Merry Christmas Baby

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    Posted in Reading Recipes, Twilight | 9 Comments »

  • Pretty Pics of Masquerading

    Friday, November 19th, 2010

    Thank you for all the charming birthday wishes and pretty thoughts sent my way. This entire week has been…enthralling. Beginning with the masquerade last weekend and ending in today’s frosty morning hours with Harry Potter. In fact, next week I’ll post some of our rabid Potter fan pics for your entertainment, but today I wanted to give you these. From my friend, Sarah, taken before our masquerade. Yes, she’s amazing. She does crazy cool things with photos (including this website’s front page and bio) that make me jealous for even an ounce of her creativity. So here you are: Masquerade Drama Pics from my dearest Sarah Kathleen. Photographer. Artist. Genius. Super fun person. (Seriously. You should see her website.)

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    Okay, so everyone should have a chick rock photo, and this is ours. With me looking all “I might kill you if I feel up to it.” And Sarah (photographer) being so lovely and whimsical. And Kati (sister) making some sort of Tim Burton awesomeness.

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    This is my “girl on fire” look. Although I’ve recently answered to the “girl with My Little Pony hair.” Whichever.

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    Okay, isn’t my sister gorgeous? Also, I think I need some throwing knives tucked into my corset. Just sayin’.

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    I know, right? Totally attractive.

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    Last, but not least, me and my pretty mask.

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    For more masquerade photos, you can go to Sarah’s site. ;-)

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    What’s the mood noise of the moment?  Within Temptation:  Memories

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    Posted in A bit of brag, Genre Savvy, Undead Leeches | 12 Comments »

  • The Final Word on Zombies

    Thursday, July 15th, 2010

    So…apparently there are books for people like you. Books that actually TEACH you how to survive a zombie apocalypse. I just came across The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks (son of Mel Brooks) which–tellingly–has recently sold its millionth copy.

    The cover to The Zombie Survival Guide

    I’ve not read it yet, but apparently included are necessary survival things to know such as (1) a bike is your best friend (no gas required, and hopefully you can ride faster than they can stumble) and (2) an oil rig is THE sweetest hideout on the face of the earth. Who knew? Oh yeah–and guess what? In a recent Shelf Life interview, Max answered that question of who would win in a vamp and zombie battle. His theory? Zombies. Because Zombies “do not need [human] flesh to sustain them. Vampires need blood to sustain them. So therefore, zombies would never have to confront vampires in a stand-up battle. All they have to do is infect the human populace, and the blood supply would dry up and vampires would die.”

    Obviously the man knows his undead, which is why this book might be worthwhile for those of you who failed the Facebook Zombie Survival Test. You know, the one that I did NOT fail.

    Also, I thought Max’s interview comment on the turning point in his career as a sort of zombie survivalist coach was truly inspiring: “I knew I had turned a corner when I did my first zombie-protection lecture [at Colorado College]…for 45 sweaty minutes and [then] opened the floor up to questions, thinking…they’d ask me questions like, ‘Is Will Ferrell really that funny?’ or ‘Is Tina Fey nice?’” (Um…did I mention Max used to write for Saturday Night Live?) “But the questions were all, ‘If I cut off my arm, can I stop an infection?’ ‘What rifle do you recommend at what range?’ ‘Should I wear body armor?’ They were all actual zombie questions, and I thought maybe I was on to something.”

    Oh you were, Max. You were.

    And seeing as I’m also somewhat of an expert on the subject of zombie survival (**modestly blushes at my facebook survival score**), I’d be glad to take your own questions on surviving a zombie apocalypse. Ask away, my reading survivalists. Ask away.

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    Mood noise of the moment?  Well…what did you expect?

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    Posted in Author Tidbits, Book Reviews, Undead Leeches | 10 Comments »

  • A Recipe for Sal’s Tacos (and surviving zombies)

    Monday, July 12th, 2010

    Continuing on with our conversation from Thursday’s post (and my weekend reading of “The Passage”), I suspect some of you instinctively know you are just not cut from the same high-caliber zombie survival cloth that I am. However, for those of you who need that confirmed, you too can take the Facebook test. There are many available, but I believe the one I took was something like, “How will you face the zombie apocalypse?” So…go at it. But don’t blame me if your survival status flashes as only slightly above the Twilight cast or the unnamed extra from (insert annoying tv show of your choice).

    And for those of you who don’t need a test to tell you what you already intuit to be true…I’ve found a training video. Consider it my attempt to give you at least every advantage possible once you’ve run out of the bribes mentioned in Thursday’s post.

    And remember: Instincts can’t be bought, but awareness can be taught.

     

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    Now…who’s hungry? Because today is recipe day. And meat is on the menu. Oh, but before you read through, do you have any extra survival suggestions or tidbits you’d like to share with us? You know…for our safety.

     

    A recipe for Sal’s Tacos

    1. 1 pork roast (boneless)
    2. Garlic salt, pepper, and cumin
    3. Corn tortillas (heated)
    4. Black beans
    5. Jack cheese
    6. Tomato (diced)
    7. Avocado (chopped)
    8. Cilantro (chopped)
    9. Lime wedges (1 wedge per taco)

    This recipe is a staple on my heavy work days. I can put the meat in a crockpot in the morning and come home later to an incredible smelling house and an easy dinner. You’ll want to rub down the pork roast with garlic salt, pepper, and ½ tsp cumin. Then place in a crockpot or deep pan (cast iron works awesome for the oven, but you can even use a cake pan) with water so that the bottom 1/3 of the roast is immersed. Cover with a lid (or foil) and slow cook at 350 for 3 to 6 hours (depends on the size and whether you’re crockpotting it or using the oven). You’ll know it’s done when you can stick a fork in it and the pork just falls apart. Using a fork, shred the meat. Serve by piling the meat on warmed corn tortillas with beans, cheese, tomato, avocado, and cilantro. Squeeze a lime wedge over and enjoy.

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    Posted in Reading Recipes, Undead Leeches | 10 Comments »

  • Brains vs. Blood

    Thursday, July 8th, 2010

    As you know, myself and Stephen King are reading Justin Cronin’s apocalyptic novel “The Passage” right now, and…well…I might’ve sat up one or two recent nights pondering the existence of zombie-like vampires (virals) and guessing at who they would take down first in an impending attack. I think it’s safe to assume that for multiple obvious reasons it’s going to be the complete cast of Twilight that gets eaten right off the bat. Although I’m open to debate.

    It’s good to know though that I’LL not be the first on the menu because, not to brag or anything, but according to the Zombie Survival Test (thank you, Facebook) I’m actually THE person MOST likely to survive a zombie apocalypse. Apparently I’ll be holed up on my commune, loaded down with shot-guns, shovels, and fire, and a fantastic singing voice which will keep the undead halted at a clear 1-mile radius. Take that, Shawn of the Dead.

    And because I’m a nice person I might consider inviting some of you to my compound. I’ll take chocolate and vodka as payment.

    Anyhoo…this whole late night heavy contemplation thing has been good for me. It’s really got me questioning the deeper issues of life, you know. Such as…what if there was a war between vampires and zombies and they had to fight each other outside of my 1-mile radius compound? Despite what the books and movies say…how would that battle REALLY end?

    Who would win–the vamps or zombies?

    Opinions please.

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    What’s the mood noise of the moment?  Heheheheheh… Bush vs. Zombies

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    Posted in Games, Genre Savvy, Undead Leeches | 13 Comments »

  • We Saw Eclipse

    Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

    So Kati (from last week’s post), Lori (in a soon-to-come post), and I attended the movie release of Eclipse in the wee wretched hours of this morning. And we threes liked it…we really did. For the most part.

    Ms. Stewart still refuses to portray personality (sad…truly), but the fight scenes were pretty fantastic. Especially between Jasper and Alice, and Edward and Victoria. In the words of Kati, “Edward actually looked like a bad a$$ instead of a weenie. And his makeup was SO much better.” Yay, Edward.

    We were also rather impressed with Jasper. Who knew he could act rather than just look constipated? (Or am I the only person who’s ever thought that?) He was quite studly. I wholly approved.

    I liked Rosalie this time around too. Although, Lori did take issue with Rosalie’s eyebrows. Multiple times. I believe her exact words were, “PLEASE bleach them.”

    Oh, and these rabid fan girls were just…so awesome. Seriously. And sweet. Vampires be proud, these girls made our evening THAT much better.

    Also, thank you to the man in the audience who, after about the 150th bout of girls shrieking at anyone and EVERYONE who’s muscles (ahem, Jacob) or face (Edward/Jasper/Carlisle) graced the screen, finally yelled “shut-uuuuuuuup!” at the top of his lungs. That was highly appropriate of you. Especially since I was having a hard time hearing the make-out scene.

    All in all? A fabulous time was had by vamp and rabid fan girls alike. (And old people like me who aren’t used to staying up until 3:30 in the morning.)

    So, tell me…did you see Eclipse? WILL you see Eclipse? Reactions to it? Are we right or are we right?

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    And, yes, my Twi-sensitivities should be highly offended by this. But I can’t stop laughing.

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    Posted in Twilight, Undead Leeches | 22 Comments »

  • A Recipe for the Ultimate Peanut Butter Cookie

    Monday, June 28th, 2010

    The last two weeks have swirled around like one chaotic, exhausting, marvelous whirlwind of people and fun. My husband graduated (YAY Cal Poly civil engineering!) looking all handsome in his cap and gown, after which we promptly escaped with the kids up to Vancouver, Portland, and Eugene to visit friends and family and enjoy lots of coffee, cider (McMenamins…mmm), and treats (Euphoria Chocolate Factory, anyone?). We arrived home mid-week only to turn around and camp out at the lake for a weekend full of more people and fun. And food. Forget the hot dogs and hamburgers indispensable to American camping though…I brought cookies (see below). And a book. “The Passage” by Justin Cronin. So far, I can compare it to Michael Crichton on literary steroids. High concept storyline + fabulous prose (that combination being something the literary world needs more of—see Guardian article) equals what the world really DOES need more of. I’ll keep you posted on how it goes. In the meantime, how’s YOUR summer going?

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    A Recipe for Ultimate Peanut Butter Cookies

    1. ¾ cup butter (room temp)
    2. ¾ cup packed brown sugar
    3. ¾ cup granulated sugar
    4. ¾ cup smooth peanut butter
    5. 1 egg
    6. 1 tsp vanilla
    7. 1-¾ cups all-purpose flour
    8. Pinch of salt
    9. ½ tsp baking soda
    10. 1 package dark chocolate chips

    Preheat oven to 350. In a large bowl, beat together butter and both sugars until creamy. Add peanut butter, egg and vanilla, beating until well blended. Beat in flour, salt, and baking soda. Shape dough into 1-3/4 inch balls, and place 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. Bake 10 to 12 minutes, or until puffy and lightly golden. Cool 4 minutes on pan, before removing to a rack. Once cool, chill the cookies in the refrigerator for 1 hour (this allows them to firm before dipping). Melt one package of dark chocolate chips (using a double-boiler or 1 minute in the microwave + 30 seconds). Drag the tops of the peanut butter cookies through the melted chocolate and set out on parchment paper until hardened.

    And since I can’t seem to leave well enough alone when it comes to food…I dipped a few of the cookies into milk chocolate and made s’mores for my kids. All in the camping spirit of course ;-) .

     Yeah…they were good.

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    Mood noise?  My heart squishing and thumping while I’m reading.

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    Posted in Book Trailers, Reading Recipes, Undead Leeches | 11 Comments »

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