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Posts Tagged ‘Steampunk fashion’

  • When I am Old, I Shall Wear Steampunk

    Friday, May 14th, 2010

    Long have I been a fan of Steampunk, both in fashion and in fiction. The entire genre enthralls me. A little steam powered action + Victorian era panache + a healthy dose of technological (i.e. totally rad) innovation, and we’ve got a recipe for my own personal obsession. Give me some classic Jules Verne, a rocket-launching wrist watch, and a giant, swaggering Victorian bustle, and I could be a blissful lady. 

    Unfortunately I’d also be the gagging-stock of my children. I can hear our grocery store conversation now. Child #1: “Look at your butt, Mom! It’s HUUUGE (yelled loudly through the sausage section).” 

    Me: “It’s called a bustle.” 

    Child #2: “Wait…a bust-hole or a butts-hole?” 

    Child #3: “Hey Mom, use your watch to shoot a rocket at dad so we can see what it does.”  

    Hmm… No. Steampunk is not for a young mother of three loudmouthed, intelligent offspring. Thus, my current relationship with the genre is limited to the random book (or movie) that happens across my desk. Such as last weekend when I started a novel I’d discovered through Agent Kristin’s website. I’ll review it for you next week, but in the meantime just know that reading the book has brought me to a decision. 

    Namely, when I am old, I shall wear Steampunk. 

    In fact, I am going to BE Steampunk. As in I’m going to be the most techno-gothic old lady anyone’s ever seen, in black lace stockings, purple velvet boots, and savvy eye-goggles (which are obviously necessary for old-lady things like knitting and reading). Plus there’s the added benefit of those tight corsets to secure in all my plump-lady gloriousness. Or perhaps it’ll just squish the plump out in all the wrong places, but I won’t care by then because my senile old mind will imagine myself as looking like this (click the links to see my imagined awesomeness):

    Victorian Steampunk Traveling Dress from 


    Wearing this tiny accessory:

    Rose Faux Wool Bowler from


    Using this:

    Steampunk Pistol with Laser Sight


    Fighting off young men who look like:


    So here and now I am issuing fair warning to my children: If in a good many years from today you see a plump and pruney old lady who looks remarkably like your dear mother dressed in saggy lace stockings, velvet boots, a diminutive top hat, and a watch that doubles as a rocket-launcher / chloroform diffuser,  brandishing a silver-tipped parasol at all the cars driving where I’m trying to jay-walk—just say something kind about my super tiny, super cool hat, remembering that I spared you the humiliation while you were young. And don’t pinch my bustle lest I decide to test my rocket watch on you. 

    Now with that stated, I’ve actually got a question for the reading friendlies:  What literary fashion will YOU dress in during your old and pruney years? 


    Jasper Morello Music Video

    (aka Industrial Steampunk Animation 2.0) with music by Interpol:  Pioneer to the Falls   


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    Posted in Genre Savvy, Undead Leeches | 18 Comments »

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